I urge you to give your reader a more detailed picture of your programs.  When your proposal talks about one activity in detail, I start to get a picture of how your activities connect with your mission.  So the story of the marching band exchange helps me hear what your Festival can accomplish, and what you care about accomplishing.  Hearing how you brought a marching band to Florida, and then that band invited a marching band from Florida to come to Jamaica, shows me what your Festival is doing to give "attendees an experience of the diverse elements of the cultural spectrum."  I would encourage you to show your Festival's excellence with more examples like this, and to make sure that your narrative is written in clear, standard American English.

At times, the narrative in "Proposal Impact" seems out of date -- there are references to 2016 and 2010.  Elsewhere, your description is commendably forward-looking, with planning already in progress for the 25th anniversary in 2019.  These inconsistencies in the story  pull the picture of your organization out of focus.  So does the fuzziness in the numbers served.

There is a lot of repetition in the narrative.  This makes your organization sound disorganized.

It would be helpful for your financial section to give more detail about how grant funding will make a difference in the Festival.  Specifically which artists will be hired for this grant cycle?

Your budget doesn't seem to reflect your planning.  With the 25th anniversary approaching, wouldn't your marketing budget rise?

There are surprises in your financial information that it would be helpful to explain -- for example, the big dip on line 19 (applicant cash).

The long-term initiatives included in support materials are impressive.  Can you build them into your grant narrative, showing how they are influencing your planning and budgeting and management?

The posters for 2017 are eye-catching.

E: While including a long narrative of the organization's history, it did not include clear or measurable goals or objectives; on the whole very under-defined.

I: Partnership status is questionable: "reached out to" is not the same as having a meaningful partnership; unclear what the overall impacts will be - instead, impacts section appears to serve as a narrative catchall.

M: While this organization "evaluates feedback," how it is captured or what standards/thresholds define success is not included in this application.

A: Strong accessibility.

This seems to be a worthwhile program but I’m finding it very difficult to visualize just what it is you do. Your timeline shows meetings but not events. There does not appear to be any evaluation, just repeating the same paragraphs included in the Fiscal Condition and Sustainability block just above it and in the middle of the Marketing narrative. There is no specific language about impact, where I was hoping for how the event(s) enhance the community, bring visitors and revenue, increase cultural understanding, etc.

I would strongly suggest that you find a professional Grantwriter to help you improve your narrative. Or perhaps one of your board members might take an online class. You also might try getting some of your younger participants to help you become more of an online presence. A Facebook page, a simple website, or using simple platforms like Twitter, Instagram or WhatsApp offer opportunities for free, informal connection to new younger audiences. 

You could improve your accessibility statement by talking about how you reach out to people with vision or hearing impairments, or people with intellectual disabilities. Programs like yours can become much more inclusive without much additional effort or expense.